My Sewing Psychology: Anxiety Riddled - Impatient - Uncontrolled Moodiness - Obsessive yet Procrastinator Sewing

I have two yards of this fabric. And I have this cute Burda 7309 pattern.

I'm thinking now as I'm writing this, it's not going to work. I need a heavier fabric for this dress. And it needs to be solid, or subtly patterned.
And, to be honest, I think I've passed that stage in sewing life where cute pattern quilting fabric is going to cut it for fashion sewing. Now I think... "perhaps if I lined the fabric with a flannel-like fusible interfacing, it could work?"  Perhaps not. As you can see, part of me is hanging on to the cutesy quilting fabric idea. The other, more practical and grown up part of me is trying hard not to cringe.

Enough with the BS.

It didn't take too long for me to see the err of my ways. To be fair, I feel like I've always chosen fabrics that are at least cool to look at. Like this:

I still think it's quite cute. Unfortunately, this was my first try at a dress. I didn't prewash the fabric, I didn't make a muslin,  didn't pay attention to my stitch length, and basted all the seams at a 4 instead of going with the standard 2.5 straight stitch. When I did end up washing the dress, a whole lot of it came apart. *Sad Face.*

I learn by making mistakes. Unfortunately, this method is not conducive to learning quickly, saving money, and it also adds to emotional strife and wasted time and energy, not just for myself, either. If you've been in my presence shortly after making ANY kind of mistake, you know just how unpleasant it can be for the both of us.

Now, I'm trying to learn by following instructions, studying, practicing on muslins, making ANOTHER muslin to be sure. I have to practice patience, self compassion, and be honest with myself about my measurements.  I also need to be honest with myself about my inability to do basic arithmetic, an essential part of altering patterns to fit my once slender, now "curvy", body. (Damn you, past age 25 metabolism! - Wait! Remember to practice compassion, put effort into things that you don't like, and take responsibility.)

So, basically, I am bananas. Hopefully it will work out for the better, and I'm really trying. I hope my honesty will inspire others who struggle with the same kinds of things to be less hard on themselves and to know that they aren't alone. Even if what their focus isn't on sewing. Some of you may have picked up on this already, but this is a rather PG way of expressing something a lot deeper and more complicated than sewing.